"No matter the situation, always wear a smile." — Joker
"Do you know how I got these scars?" — The Dark Knight
"Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?" — Batman: The Killing Joke
"We aren't contractually tied down to rationality! There is no Sanity Clause!" — Batman: The Killing Joke
"If I weren't insane, I couldn't be so brilliant!" — Dreadful Birthday Dear Joker
"Nobody panics when things go 'according to plan,' even if the plan is horrifying." — The Dark Knight
"April sweet is coming in, let the feast of fools begin!" — Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away!" — Batman: The Animated Series
"I've been using it as a journal, but also as a joke diary, if I have any thoughts or frustrations. I think I told you, I'm pursuing a career in standup comedy." — Joker
"The pen is truly mightier than the sword!" — The Dark Knight
"You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else...only you won't admit it!" — Batman: The Killing Joke
"If the police expect to play against the Joker, they’d better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!" — Batman
"Laugh it up now!" — Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
"This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them." — The Dark Knight
"Well look at the size of that cake, man!" — Batman: The Animated Series
"Now, I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling." — The Dark Knight
"Let's take a moment to reflect on the passing of a man who was more than just another do-gooder in tights. He was the best arch-nemesis a sociopath could ask for." — Emperor Joker
"Oh, Batman, if you had the guts for that kind of fun you would've done it years ago. I, on the other hand..." — Batman: The Brave and the Bold
"You complete me." — The Dark Knight
"Let's put a smile on that face!" — The Dark Knight
"Don't go into the light, bats! It's no fair! They won't let me in!" — Batman: Arkham Night
"You see, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve." — The Dark Knight
"I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep." — Batman: The 1989 Movie Adaptation
"It's true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarangs, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy!" — Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
"Why be a disfigured outcast when I can be a notorious crime god? Why be an orphaned boy when you can be a superhero?" — Batmana
"You know, kids, a lot has changed while your old Uncle Joker's been away. New Gotham, new rules, even a new Batman. But now I’m tanned, I’m rested, and I’m ready to give this old town a wedgie again!" — Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
"Batman, darling." — Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
"Life's a bowl of cherries and this is the pits." — Batman: The Killing Joke
"If you actually let me finish a sentence, you might learn something! You might learn we're not so different. You might even learn something about yourself." — Batman: Arkham Origins
"I'm gonna make this pencil disappear." — The Dark Knight
"Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship?" — The Lego Batman Movie
"Yet we're linked, you and I. Like comedy and tragedy. Two sides, same coin." — The Batman (2004)
"I can't wait to show you my toys." — Suicide Squad
"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. " — Batman: The Killing Jok
"I'm a man of simple taste. I like things such as gunpowder, dynamite and gasoline!" — The Dark Knight
"You can't kill me without becoming like me! I can't kill you without losing the only human being who can keep up with me! Isn't it ironic?" — Batman
"Where, oh where has my little Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? His cowl, his scowl, his temper so foul. I do hope he's coming for me." — Batman: Arkham Origins